What an exhausting weekend. Last weekend I went to my friend Sam’s holiday party. It was a blast. Sam and her hubby have been throwing this party for four years now and I have always had to work. I got to go this year. I show up after getting horribly lost in Battleground. What is it with sub divisions that have street numbers that make no sense. At one point and time I was on the corner of 12th and 12th how is this possible. They didn’t even wrap around one was a dead end and the other came off of a main street WTF! So I get there and Sam’s hubby Casey makes me strong drink. I mean it put man hairs on my chest. That’s the kind of man I like make my drink good and strong. The party was fun. It was a good chance to meet some of Sam and Casey’s friends. I do have one complaint. Now let me preface this by saying I love straight guy parties. I get to sit back and watch them. It’s so fascinating to me. So I watch Casey and his buddies hang in the kitchen. There was sadly only on hot guy there. He was cute to all trendy and trying to act cool. Plus he was dressed a little too well for a straight guy.
The next day Joe and I go to Vancouver to get my Christmas shopping out of the way. I was determined to get it all done in one day. We stop by Vancouver Mall to where I’m instantly annoyed. I get to the concierge desk to get my niece and her hubby two amex gift cards. The person is on break. WHAT! It’s the middle of holiday shopping the mall is packed with people and you ass wads at the mall can’t get and extra person for holiday time. SUCK MY BUTT! I then call Kelsi and say hey you want meet in Janzen beach. So Kelsi and Halle meet at Janzen beach we chat and laugh. We all go to dinner together at Hooters. To which I thought Halle and I where going to punch “Bob Douche Bag Barker” in the face. We sat next to some hooter girl signing calendars’ for the creepy old dudes. So “BDBB” (bob douche bag barker) keeps coming around and talking to the skank signing the calendars. He constantly bumps Halle’s chair he had to do it at least 6 times. So then he goes way. He then come back and stands right behind me. To which he bumps his back to my back 5 times. I’m pissed by bump 3. Then the fucker kicks my chair twice! Im now steaming mad and I then say out loud “I swear to god of Bob Barker hits my back or chair on more time I’m going to lose my shit”. Now Halle is roaring with laughter. So then BDBB (who is in his 60’s!) says to the calendar skank “so where do you live now? Oh Reno that must be fun.” She then tells him “Ya next time you guys come to Reno you have a place to stay”. Then Kelsi notices the best thing ever. BDBB has his grandson with him who has to be 15 wearing a zip up hoody jacket with no shirt on underneath zipped half way up with no chest hair. It was epic. We laughed so hard. I then turn my head to look at the table with a calendar on it. The calendar reads “II Kelly thank you some much”. Yep that’s right the skank used Roman numeral two for to. I notice this and being pissed already went off very loudly about “who uses Roman numeral two for to”.
Now it’s Monday and I have two birthday parties. I hang out with Melissa in the morning for her birthday, get home take a nap then head out to Candace’s birthday in ptown. We get back and head to Nikki’s Bar for the party. Which was a blast, fun and debauchery abounded. Everyone was pretty sauced and I’m at the table txting when to cook John comes up to me. I instantly recognize him from 13 years ago. John used to date my friend April. I haven’t talked to April in about 7 years. She got into drugs pretty bad after her mother died and it was just a sob story and she was trying to get her life back on track. So John says hi and asked if I knew who he was and I said yes. Now last I say John he was hot. I mean you would want him to be you’re pool boy. However 13 years has changed that. So he says to me “so you’re gay right? It’s no big deal if you are.” I tell him yes and hold my tongue. I really want to say fuck you get away from you. ASSHOLE. I haven’t seen you for 13 years and that is the first comment out of you is you’re gay aren’t you.
