I just saw Dallas's Nipple and Now Im Just Not Right

Ok so I was going to blog about how Jessica is mean to me and is keeping her hot baseball player man from me, but I have to tell a little back story and maybe a front story too. I was going to write a blog about Jessica on Saturday, however I went out with Tiff, Candace, and Anna we where out till forever and when I got home I just wanted to sleep when I got home. I'm such an old lady on this new shift of mine which I love. The shift not the old lady part. I get up on Sunday go down to the store to get a paper. The Sunday paper is $1.50 I get to the counter with the paper and the lady says $2.00. I was like what?! I look at the paper again to make sure the price is $1.50. After about ten seconds of being bewildered I point to the price on the paper and she goes "oh $1.50". Then as I'm leaving there was this lady on the street corner. She was an older lady in her 50's maybe early 60's a long hippy dress and a tie died top with long white hair. So I then leave town to do some ceramics with Kelsi and fam. I get home and Mom proceeds to tell me that they let some strange lady in the house and you the bathroom. I then descirbe her and my mother was like yeah that was her. I was like OMG she was on the street corner of 46th ave and Ocean Beach Hwy (a major road) yelling at the traffic and mumbling to herself. My mother then goes well you didn't tell me that. I was like why would I. I never thought that you would let that crazy ass ed bitch in the house. So Mom tells me that she was in the bathroom for quit a while. I then asked did you check the bathroom after she left. To make sure nothing was missing or she didn't you know leave something behind and then try to come back for it. The response I get is well "No", I'm then told that she asked everyone for money and a ride. So they neighbor gives her a ride about a half a mile away. To which I'm then told she smelled really bad. I was like you guys watch Law and Order, CSI, ect.. This is how most of those plots start. Plus this person is going to come back. To which I was told no she wont and if she does we will ignore her. FUCKING RIGHT.
Then they where chopping down a giant tree in our back yard and they rented a huge Boom Lift. To which since I had to work on Saturday and I was out of town Sunday I didn't get to play with it at all. It was huge I could have gone at least 50 to 70 feet in the air.
Ok so now on to Jessica. We had been buddies for a while now. When she first started I would say her name how Kathy Griffin would say her assistants name Jessica. Then when she would she would be a pain and make my life hell I told her that I was going to hit her favorite animal with my car on my way home from work. So then when I came back and we worked together again. So we where getting caught up and she tells me that she is dating this guy by ? (while writing this blog I sent a text message to a friend to make sure I can use her mans name in my blog. If I don't get an approval back he will forever be known as ?). So we are talking about ? and she tells me that he wants a gay friend and that she will introduce us. I was ok and really unsure about this prospect. So later that day I go to her myspace page and I then she her boyfriend so I clicked on that to see what he is like. His pics and his page where kind of hick/ redneck. So then I was concerned that he just wanted to beat the crap out of me. So then tell Jessica this and she laughs and says no he doesn't want to kick my ass. So then I was Ok I will meet him maybe we can do a baseball game. We all have that in common and to me that would be a good common ground. Then he comes in and I get to meet ? and he is super nice and I want to totally hang and kick it with him. So then I ask Jessica where he has been. He would come in on her Fridays and visit. He hasn't been around in a while so I asked her why she was hiding him from me. Was she afraid I was going to steal him away. She then says No he has been busy lately. RIGHT SURE HE IS, I WILL HIT A HORSE WITH MY CAR TO MAKE IT EVEN.
So now to why the blog is titled like it is. I go to Stefs page to send her a message saying that she has to name my blog. She of course wasn't online any more so I'm watching her photo slide show and what pops up a pic of her hubby and his nipple. I'm just not right now. Not right at all.

HUNK OF MAN

Today I had two tasks. One get suits altered, TWO get new tires. I drive down and the alterations place is closed. ASSHOLES FUCK YOU FOR TAKING A DAY OFF WORK. Then I had to go to the tire store and get new tired. Thank you stimulus check. I get into the place and walk in and there was the guy that I have literally had a giant crush on for years. He was the guy that I wanted when I was 20 and was too afraid to come out of the closet. We where good buddies back then. Then we both got fired from the same employer and I moved away so I lost contact. I have always jokingly referred to him and my husband. He is probably the only person that I would marry if I had to. Well except Sheila. I have always had this thought that one day she is going to get prego and I will just marry her so she doesn't have to raise the kid alone and plus, All the crap that I give Sheila I do love her dearly and I love her family a ton to. But back the story. He was there. I get a cute tire guy to help me he gets the info and we are talking and the hunk walks up. I asked for his opinion about the tires and he told me his opinion. I know allot of stuff. I can rebuild and car engine and what not. Tires Iam out of the loop and just want to be told the option. The tire guy tells me that it will be about 45 min. Hunk was going to head home and just come back to get his car. I was just going to shop at Freddies. Hunk and I just started talking and we hung out for a good hour bullshitting. It was a blast. I was relaxed and just didn't seem to care that I was in my scrubby clothes. It was a fun and good day. Even when the smelly lady sat down next to him and we had to go somewhere else to escape the smell. It was all fun and I had a blast.

Learn To Drive Assholes

So Yesterday I needed to run to Tacoma to get a couple new suits and what not. Joe came with me to keep me company and also to make me laugh my ass off. The trip up was uneventful except for me driving 60 mph which grated on Joe. It made me giggle and I was just like eh. But the trip back I laughed my ass off. We where looking for a place to eat and Joe with his window rolled down was talking to any guy in the cars next to us. His phrase was "You know you want me to suck your cock!" I just died. Then this little tid bit was just out there. He saw a half way decent guy and he just said "mmm I want to taste your juice". I was WTF that is the grossest thing ever. To which we are heading home traffic was a giant snarl because nobody can drive anymore. It was bumper to bumper both directions for 15 miles. But it traffic he was just like "mmm I bet his juice tastes good". I was just vile and was making me queezy.