LIFE BLOWS

So I have had my cat Big Kitty for about 17 years and she was about 18 to 20 years old. I was doing the math I have had her for well over half my life. Then on Monday night/ Tuesday morning she gets sick. She becomes really spacey and cant hold her balance. So first chance I get I call the vet Tuesday morning to get an appointment and the earliest that they can get me in is Wednesday morning at 10:45 am. I say OK. So the entire day Tuesday Big Kitty does nothing but sleep on me. That's all she wanted to do and I was happy to accommodate her. I get up get ready for work and give her a kiss good bye. I tell her that I will be home in the morning and that I will take her to the vet and get her all fixed up. Mt brother calls me Wednesday morning and tells me that she isn't doing well. I call my vet and get an emergency appointment. I then speed all the way home from La Center. By the time I made it home Big Kitty was laying in the door way of my bedroom. She had layed down then and then passed away. I get her into the pet carrier and down to the vet. I then get home from the vet and fall asleep and cant sleep all that well because I'm used for 17 years having her sleep on me or next to me. I then get up to turn my alarm clock off and thought that I was going to hit her to realize the shitty thing is that she was gone.