Happy Birthday Dani

So today part of my family got together for my niece Dani’s birthday dinner. So Danny, Lori, Miles, Dani, and I all went o Outback for dinner. It is probably my favorite restaurant. We are waiting for dinner to arrive and my brother Danny leans over to me and whispers in my ear. “Tim don’t look right now but the guy next to us and part of his blooming onion in his beard”. So I wait a couple seconds look around the room then look over at the guy, turn back to Danny and bust up laughing. Our food arrives and we pig out. It comes time for us to leave and we are standing outside shooting the shit. Danny tells me a joke and I tell Danny one. Lori comes back from the pickup truck with a post it note that was on the ground next to the truck that said “I suck fat cock”. I had to have it. So I told them about the picture I took in Portland of the “queef out some bukkake” that was plastered to the side of an Asian Reporter news paper box. They all die of laughter, then Lori goes you still have never told me what that means. I look at her and go Dustin and I told you what “bukkake” meant when we lived in Ridgefield. So I told her it was a Japanese art form of covering someone or something in semen. So then I go “you don’t know what a queef is oh ok its when you fart from you’re pussy”. We all die of laughter. Dani and Miles are to the point of tears and then they tell me that two old ladies had walked up behind me and the old ladies thought that I had asked them what a queef was then explained it out loud. I died again to the point of tears running down my face, so was Lori and Dani. I then looked at Dani and said “Happy Birthday that was you’re gift”. I can’t believe that I accidently asked and old lady what a queef was and then told her what it was.