The Best Complaint EVER

OK so last Friday I worked at the coffee shop by myself. I was extremely nervous. This was my first time alone and with no one to help me out if I got stuck or if I had a mini melt down. Joe was at the annex that day. So I think the day went half way well. Everyone who where the regulars knew that it was my first time being the Batista.

So this morning when I got a text message from Joe I had to laugh out loud.

Joe: "You wouldn't make a customer's drink less hot on purpose because you don't like them, would you?"

Me: "Um No. Why"

Me: "I don't dislike any of the customers."

Me: "Was that a complaint about me?"

Me: "That is my favorite complaint ever."

Joe: "Ya but don't worry about it. I figured.

Joe: "Ya its a pretty unique one. BTW, I got your address out of the phonebook at the library."

Me: "Haha. I don't want to know if I have grand kids."

OK so lets break this down. Number one I feel people work hard for their money and I would never do something to their dink or food. I view that as taboo. Number two if I dislike you, you will know that I dislike you. Plus the fact that I have only meet this person a couple times, I have never hung out with this person, I really don't even care about this person. Number three I figured Joe who has known me for over 6 years, 6 FUCKING YEARS. You should know me by now that I would never do something like that. Number for the stuff in italics is from a William Shatner song of his album "Has Been". Its awesome!

Potpourri

Ok so this is a mixture of just random stuff that has been going on over the last week or so. Lets start off with the fact that its Christmas time and I just want to scream that all the stupid people in the world make themselves known at any and every store at the same time. I hate people to know extent. I think its the fact that I had to deal with people at my job at the casino and its never a pleasant time to deal with people who are losing or have lost money.
I do have a burning question that I had and I asked Joe and Kyle it. I was at the coffee shop last week all by my self and I was doing people watching. Which is always fun to do in the middle of lunch. I was watching the group of mentally handicap people interact with one another. I asked my self "in the mentally handicapped community do they have a social hierarchy?" Joe's response was no that they view each other on the same level, Kyle didn't seem to care about the question. I thought it was a good question to ask. I figured that they have to have the hierarchy of the preps, jocks, skater, rich, poor, etc.
Then work has been weird. There is a co worker that I have that has been hitting my creepy button. He is part of religious organization that is odd. I have been working there for almost six months now. He has never said hi to me once. I will go into the break room and he was stare at me and I will say hi and he just stares right through me. Then the other night at work he walked up to me and stood a foot away from me and sniffed me. It really creeped me out and I was really uncomfortable. I was talking to a coworker about it and they told me that he was part of this religious organization that might be anti gay and that could have allot to do with it. Either was he is a creepy little man.

LIFE BLOWS

So I have had my cat Big Kitty for about 17 years and she was about 18 to 20 years old. I was doing the math I have had her for well over half my life. Then on Monday night/ Tuesday morning she gets sick. She becomes really spacey and cant hold her balance. So first chance I get I call the vet Tuesday morning to get an appointment and the earliest that they can get me in is Wednesday morning at 10:45 am. I say OK. So the entire day Tuesday Big Kitty does nothing but sleep on me. That's all she wanted to do and I was happy to accommodate her. I get up get ready for work and give her a kiss good bye. I tell her that I will be home in the morning and that I will take her to the vet and get her all fixed up. Mt brother calls me Wednesday morning and tells me that she isn't doing well. I call my vet and get an emergency appointment. I then speed all the way home from La Center. By the time I made it home Big Kitty was laying in the door way of my bedroom. She had layed down then and then passed away. I get her into the pet carrier and down to the vet. I then get home from the vet and fall asleep and cant sleep all that well because I'm used for 17 years having her sleep on me or next to me. I then get up to turn my alarm clock off and thought that I was going to hit her to realize the shitty thing is that she was gone.

The Best Holiday Comment!

So for the holidays it was a small gathering at the house. Mom, Ron, Dani (her dog), Bo, and his Skank, and of course me. I was hanging out with Mom and Dani when Dani notices Chilli (one of my moms dogs). Dani go "oh my god Chilli's balls are huge". I start to laugh instantly. It was freaking awesome. It was nice that Dani came down but I really wish she would have brought her husband Miles with her. It kills me that sometimes he doesn't want to be part of the family. I keep hoping that he will come around.

Remodeling and the Worst Date of My Life

I have been extremely busy the last month or so. Both jobs seemed to be conflicting with one another the stress of the remodel then my supposed friend Melanie fixing me up on the worst date ever.
I'm happy to say that I'm Finlay getting my own bathroom and walk in closet. That was the only major thing that I wanted and now have it. Ron (my step dad) told me that he thinks that it should all be done with in two weeks. I'm soooooo happy about that. Plus I will be happy when I can stop spending large amounts of money. Can I just say that I love Lowe's they always have the cutest men working and shopping there. HOT HOT HOT!
Now onto my friend Melanie whom I want to sue for mental distress. She fixes me up with a guy named Bryan. He seemed like a nice guy then it all fell apart on the date. When he told me at least 15 times that he just wanted to be a little Asian women. That's nice I want to date a man who wants to be a man. Problem one. NEXT! So then he tells me when we are talking that he has hit his ex wife in the forehead with a gun. A gun kids. Problem two. NEXT! He then tells me that he has also cut someones break lines. WHAT THE FUCK. Problem three. NEXT! So then after the horrible movie 30 Days of Night. That was a shit fuck of a shitty stupid fucking horrible I want my money back fuck job of a movie. The date was finally over. So then at 3:45am he sends me a text message that said "So do you think I'm a horrible person yet" WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT! So I press him on it and he says "oh I was being funny" NOT a funny text message to receive after a shitty date. So then two days later he calls me and starts a fight with me over the phone because he had a fight with his ex. WHAT THE HELL. Problem number 9,976. As soon as I got off the phone with him I was like what the hell what a fucking women.
IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO FIND A NORMAL GUY TO DATE?

Rule # 5: No Excessive Grunting

So I joined a new gym in town and one of the rules on the packet that they gave me was No Excessive Grunting. It killed me and I laughed my ass off when I was in the car and noticed it.
I did think that I should mention that I had a conversation months ago that if Bo and Jess where to get pregnant that they needed to move out. I didn't feel that it was my job or duty to be working two jobs and going from grave shift to day shift and have to help support someones kid who doesn't have a job. My house is not set up for and baby and the sad thing is that I will probably never be. I'm now just counting down to the days that they move out.
Work is good on all fronts. I do have to say that the coffee shop is becoming my favorite place to work. I have a blast get along with my co workers and the customers are awesome. Plus hot cop and there are some. There was one that came in today. Captain "H" was hella hot. I would have climbed to the top of him slide down and hope to have gotten stuck half way. But I digress. And the coke guy is a hottie to. But I don't know when he is normally there to deliver.
Then over the weekend I had a blast hanging out with the guys it was a blast. Saturday I got to chat with and play pool with another gay from Longview. He and his partner run a real estate business in town. Chris was a blast to talk to and he is a pool shark or I just suck at pool. I think it might have been a combo of both.

GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!

So I get up today and my mom tells me that the Skank was released early. I wasn't thrilled with that then she tells me that they are out looking for apartments. I was really giddy with excitement. Then I said what how are they going to pay the rent neither of them have a job. Mom goes "oh she can get welfare because she is pregnant". I wanted to freak out so bad, but having no voice put a quick stop to that.

Work Work Work

So I now work at a local casino and its going good and its nice but they went to 10 hour shifts and moved everybody to two or three days a week. So not wanting to go broke I took a job at Dragon Fly Cafe in downtown Vancouver. I love the job. I get to work with one of my best friends Joe who is a manager there. I get to learn about coffee and I have a non stress job. I had a guy come up Friday and say wow you guys are sure busy today. I just said OK. Granted we where busy and ran our asses off but I like it when its like that. Plus there in no way that this job will compare to a busy night at a casino which I'm used to. Its fun and I thank Joe and Mike for giving me the job its a blast.

Dinner With Travis, Wendy, and The Prego Sherrell

So last night Travis invited me over for dinner. Which I love. I love Travis he is honestly like my brother, Wendy who I also love allot too, and Sherrell (one of Wendy's best friends). And the rest of the family.... SO I get there and Sable opens the front door before I can knock so I just walk in and scare her half to death it was hilarious. Travis and Wendy and I are all chatting and I'm also chatting with Sable. (Thank you Sable for the fortune teller thing. I love it.) Travis is cooking in the kitchen, Wendy is at the table rolling the tokitos and I am sitting on the excise bike talking to them and drinking a glass of red wine. We are all laughing and getting caught up when Sherrell waddles her prego ass in. Then Travis shows me HD TV and I love it. Its sooo clear and beautiful to look at and see. I want one now. Then we watch the SHITTIOUS MOVIE EVER Kickin It Old Skool. It was honestly the worst thing ever. (DAMN Wendy for bringing that shit hole movie home). I have yet to find a funny part. The only good thing about it was Michael Rosenbaum. He was hot and not the bad to stare at even tho his character was a douchbag.
Since the movie was boring to us we where often chatting and making fun of one another. So Sherrell son Jaden takes all the hot wheels out and gives them to me. Then I put them all over Sherrells chest and boobs then Wendy joins in. So K dog is on his moms lap and is just staring at Sherrells chest because he wants his toys. He would look at them then look away and then awkwardly look back at them it was fucking funny. Then K dog makes the weirdest face ever and we all start dying of laughter.
Finally the horrible movie is over and a rap song comes on at the end. Jaden gets in front of the TV and just starts dancing like nobodies business we all start to laugh Sherrell is laughing so hard she is crying. The thing that killed me was Jaden is I'm guessing 5 and he was busting the moves out. He was looks like he should be on a TV dance show. He was in time with he music. It was awesome.

PARTY PARTY PARTY

On Saturday I had two parties to go to. The first party I went to was JZ's. I had a blast. JZ's group of friends are always funny and nice. JZ and a couple of us go out and play polish golf and we where having a blast till I got stung by a bee and then 15 min later JZ gets stung by one and then a couple more people got stung to. I start to freak out, I got stung in on my finger and it started to swell and then around my knuckles on my palm started to get red and swell. I call Joe and see if he can find out what I need to do. He does and text me back and tells me to take some benadrill and it will help out. I was cool and got some and took it. OK by this time I have had two shots and two beers. I was doing good till I left the party and head home to go to Katie's party. I get to Katie's party and I was exhausted. The drive back to Longview was horrible. I was tired and just wanted to go to sleep. I get to Katie's and the party is in full effect and Katie has some hotties at her party. There where three guys there that where just HOT AS FUCK Y'ALL. I lasted and Katie's party for about 45 min. I said by to Katie and headed home. I get home and crawl into bed and then PASSED THE FUCK OUT.
So now its Sunday and I told Katie (who is the president of the young dems of cowlitz county) that I would help run a joint booth between the young dems and young republicans to get people to register to vote. I was really apprehensive about doing this because one I really hate censoring my self around new people then having to run a booth with a republican. I get there and its the Highland Festival. That means men in kilts looking hot and trowing logs, ball and chains, ect. I just wanted to walk up to all the kilt wears and offer to do filthy things to them. I ran the booth for about an hour and then a Mrs. Crawford (one of the young republicans wife) showed up to decorate our booth. She was really nice. Then about 45 min later her had husband showed up. I was like fuck me with a two by four. Hes tall cute blond and I just want to do dirty things to him. I was nice and censored myself. Then about and hour later Katie showed up and took over for me.

Are you fucking shitting me?

So my brothers skank has been in trouble with the law. So she was arrested a couple weeks ago on a warrant for contempt of court. I asked why contempt of court. The response was she was arrested for Drugs and Forgery. So she tried to sell a car and took a stolen check and was charged with forgery and then while they where searching her found drugs in her purse. So she doesn't show up to her court date and had a warrant issued and what not. So a couple weeks ago she had a run in with the law because people where trespassing at her uncles house and they ran her and what happened she was arrested.
So after three days of not seeing her I ask my brother where his "wench" was at. He told me the story and I giggled a little bit. So he spends four days scrapping to get her out of jail. He has to pay $500 to the bail bondsmen to get her out. He doesn't have a job and you know what he doesn't pay rent pay for food etc. It pissed me off that he would bust his ass and get his bitch out of jail but cant pay rent and seems to just want to do nothing with his life.
So now the point of my blog entry. So I was told the other day that she has to report to her PO office every Friday. It gets kinda weird from her but this is what I have been able to get. Either she had to take a piss test or if they suspect her of drugs they will test her. So she apparently has been taking on OTC (over the counter) allergy medication and my brother tells me that it will cause her to test positive and that she drinks this special stuff that "cleans her system out" because if she pees positive she will go to jail until her court date.
So being curious about this I text some of whom I consider my smartest friends (Megan, Joe, Katie, Karen). Pretty much the same response was NO taking OTC allergy medication doesn't affect the piss test. So I check out her "special water" and its fucking Aquafina vitamin water. ARE YOU SHITTING ME! SO basically her story about this is really weak. Now I'm just wondering did she kinda admit to me that she is doing drugs. I really want her drug tested now. I want to know if someone is doing drugs in my house. If it could cost me my job I want to know what is going on in my house. Plus it doesn't seem like her or my brother will ever get a job and move out. This shit pisses me off!

The Cutest Dog

My niece Dani and her new pug puppy Shelby. I love her dog so much. It has the best personality ever. CUTE CUTE CUTE......

Best 4th of July EVER!

This 4th of July was a blast. I started the day out by driving a truck through the local parade for a buddy. Then I was invited to go to a friends bbq. Darryl and Deri throw the best bbq. After the parade is done you show up chat eat and drink. Throw your plates away and then eat and drink and chat some more. Then at 5 ish Darryl throws some ribs on the grill and cooks them up you eat and drink some more and then around 10 the fireworks at the lake go off and you can see them from the backyard. After that was all done I went to visit my friend Travis and Wendy in the ghetto. Travis went out a bought a shit load of fireworks. From when I arrived at 1030 at night to 1230 am when the cops came by and told us we had to stop it was a non stop loud exploding firework extravaganza. Travis, his dad and bother and I had this whole thing worked out with we would all go out the the middle of the street and set up our fireworks and put on a little show. It was a blast. Getting to hang out with Travis and Wendy is a blast then Wendy's sister boyfriend and friends are a riot to hang out with too. The only thing that would have made this 4th of July better would have been if I had some limoncehello.