Sorry this one is long!

What an exhausting weekend. Last weekend I went to my friend Sam’s holiday party. It was a blast. Sam and her hubby have been throwing this party for four years now and I have always had to work. I got to go this year. I show up after getting horribly lost in Battleground. What is it with sub divisions that have street numbers that make no sense. At one point and time I was on the corner of 12^th and 12^th how is this possible. They didn’t even wrap around one was a dead end and the other came off of a main street WTF! So I get there and Sam’s hubby Casey makes me strong drink. I mean it put man hairs on my chest. That’s the kind of man I like make my drink good and strong. The party was fun. It was a good chance to meet some of Sam and Casey’s friends. I do have one complaint. Now let me preface this by saying I love straight guy parties. I get to sit back and watch them. It’s so fascinating to me. So I watch Casey and his buddies hang in the kitchen. There was sadly only on hot guy there. He was cute to all trendy and trying to act cool. Plus he was dressed a little too well for a straight guy.

The next day Joe and I go to Vancouver to get my Christmas shopping out of the way. I was determined to get it all done in one day. We stop by Vancouver Mall to where I’m instantly annoyed. I get to the concierge desk to get my niece and her hubby two amex gift cards. The person is on break. WHAT! It’s the middle of holiday shopping the mall is packed with people and you ass wads at the mall can’t get and extra person for holiday time. SUCK MY BUTT! I then call Kelsi and say hey you want meet in Janzen beach. So Kelsi and Halle meet at Janzen beach we chat and laugh. We all go to dinner together at Hooters. To which I thought Halle and I where going to punch “Bob Douche Bag Barker” in the face. We sat next to some hooter girl signing calendars’ for the creepy old dudes. So “BDBB” (bob douche bag barker) keeps coming around and talking to the skank signing the calendars. He constantly bumps Halle’s chair he had to do it at least 6 times. So then he goes way. He then come back and stands right behind me. To which he bumps his back to my back 5 times. I’m pissed by bump 3. Then the fucker kicks my chair twice! Im now steaming mad and I then say out loud “I swear to god of Bob Barker hits my back or chair on more time I’m going to lose my shit”. Now Halle is roaring with laughter. So then BDBB (who is in his 60’s!) says to the calendar skank “so where do you live now? Oh Reno that must be fun.” She then tells him “Ya next time you guys come to Reno you have a place to stay”. Then Kelsi notices the best thing ever. BDBB has his grandson with him who has to be 15 wearing a zip up hoody jacket with no shirt on underneath zipped half way up with no chest hair. It was epic. We laughed so hard. I then turn my head to look at the table with a calendar on it. The calendar reads “II Kelly thank you some much”. Yep that’s right the skank used Roman numeral two for to. I notice this and being pissed already went off very loudly about “who uses Roman numeral two for to”.

Now it’s Monday and I have two birthday parties. I hang out with Melissa in the morning for her birthday, get home take a nap then head out to Candace’s birthday in ptown. We get back and head to Nikki’s Bar for the party. Which was a blast, fun and debauchery abounded. Everyone was pretty sauced and I’m at the table txting when to cook John comes up to me. I instantly recognize him from 13 years ago. John used to date my friend April. I haven’t talked to April in about 7 years. She got into drugs pretty bad after her mother died and it was just a sob story and she was trying to get her life back on track. So John says hi and asked if I knew who he was and I said yes. Now last I say John he was hot. I mean you would want him to be you’re pool boy. However 13 years has changed that. So he says to me “so you’re gay right? It’s no big deal if you are.” I tell him yes and hold my tongue. I really want to say fuck you get away from you. ASSHOLE. I haven’t seen you for 13 years and that is the first comment out of you is you’re gay aren’t you.

The Cautious Adventurist

I consider myself a cautious adventurist. Now I know that doesn’t sound right or work all the time. There was the time that Dustin and I went to pride in Portland and then decided to walk through China Town and then to Pioneer Court House Square and neither of us knew where it was or how to get there. I want to say that this was about five years ago. So we just started walking and hoped we would stumble upon it. We did, then for me the adventure began. We get there and are standing across the street and we didn’t know what to do from there. We are standing there bewildered as to what to do. Then a 45 to 50 year old black man see’s us and screams across the street at us. He comes over to us and starts talking to us. Dustin and I came to the conclusion that he was our spirit guide. He starts walking and talking to us and says “do you guys want the scenic tour or the bullshit tour?” At this point in time I’m all in and am ready to go on an adventure. Dustin says “ok”. Now we are two minutes into meeting this guy and he tells us “I don’t normally talk to white people, but you two look civilized” DONE I’M IN. So then he walks us to the Abercrombie and Fitch and tells us that this store used to be a Woolworths’ style store. I naturally say “really” he then says that he and his friend back then where ‘helping the store go out of business” then he used some phrase that Dustin and I have never heard before for stealing. Then he takes us to this upscale French restaurant and blows past the lady at the front counter and says to her in passing “I’m showing these guys around” he then starts a conversation with the waiter about some person who plays guitar there and the waiter just looked like he wanted to punch the guy. I then decide that I no longer want to be on this adventure and have no idea of how to end it. We start to walk down the street and stop to look in some windows and expensive jewelry and then he notices that we both have stickers on that say I Support Pride. He is taken aback buy this then decides the tour needs some revamping. He then decides to walk us to the art museum. In the process of crossing the street he stops and points out a church steeple and says “look at the architecture” he repeats this phrase several times for the next half hour and he drags us around. We get to the art museum and he walks right up to the security guard and says he is giving us a tour and that he wants to show us around. Now I notice that there is a party going on. The guard tells him that there is a private party and we have to leave. So Dustin and I turn around and start to walk out. I then notice in the arch way to the room where the party is at that they have armed guards standing around. I grabbed Dustin and we bailed out of there fast. We are half way down the street when he catches up with us. He says “I distracted the guy you should have run into the room”. I then point out that they had armed guards he then says “they wouldn’t have shot you guys, you’re white”. It is not 6pm and this guy had been with us for two hours. I say thank you for the tour and say we have to go. He walks back to Pioneer Court House Square with us. The entire time he his telling us the sob story of his life. I then notice he smells of alcohol. He then asked for money. I knew I had a five and a one in my pocket. I just reached in and blindly gave him a dollar bill and called it good. I thanked him and wished him well.

I then look at Dustin and say he smelt of booze, Dusting said “I know I smelt it on him when he came over to us at first. We then discuss how we need to have a communication system when some strange person wants to drag us around drunk.  It’s now later and the sun is starting to set and we walk back thru China Town to get back to the car at the waterfront. In retelling this story to a couple friends the looked on in horror as I told them we walked thru China Town and night. I just looked at them and said we followed the drag queens that where dressed as Bette Davis, and Joan Crawford from the movie What Ever Happened To Baby Jane. Plus drag queen are tough and the noticed out support pride stickers so I have no doubt they would have assisted in our rescue. Plus do you want to fuck with to drag queen dressed as the meanest ladies in the world?

From the files of WTF

Most of the time I have an inner safeguard system that keeps me from saying the meanest stuff to people. Like the fact that I know several people around me who are back stabbers and two faced and just generally unsavory and happy people. I know that I should just look at them all and tell them that they are full of shit and to shut their fucking mouths, but I would lose out on hearing how lame people are just how nut jobs crazy people are. The latter is my favorite on of all time. I love to know that people are bat shit crazy it entertains me. The crazier the better! Like on example is a person I know by the name of Montana (name has been changed to protect the crazy). Montana is a die hard republican thinks abortions should be illegal and is saving her virginity for marriage she was even convincing other employees to become celibate. Everyone knows as soon as you let the tiger out the cage and its good you don’t want to stop then wait for marriage. Plus I’m sorry I fully believe that you should take it for a test drive before you purchase the car. If the car is a dead lay I do have to say that I will move on and call it a lesson learned. Kind of like the guy with the small penis. I’m sorry don’t tell me it is 7 inches and then show up and it is only three. I was “excuse me, what, I’m done, and I’m going home.” Back to Montana she is nuts she believes all this and then steals money from the company and from ME she stole my tips. Then acts as if the are my best friend at work. Who does that but a crazy person?

So here is a creepy moment I had the other day. I was at home watching TV when a St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital commercial came on. I was like I need to donate to them. I have decided since all the religious organizations’ are going to use their great wealth to take away gay rights I was going to do me best to make sure that children would have a slightly better life.  The other day in the mail I get a letter from St. Jude’s asking for a contribution and it was from a guy I went to high school with and I haven’t seen in ten years. I have no idea how he got my address but I took it as a sign that I should donate. If these religious organizations’ aren’t going to gods work I will give it a shot.

The Funny Canadian

I have a new friend Melissa and have been hanging out with her often. We now even go to the same gym together. I meet Melissa about two months ago through Joe. We hit it off instantly. We have the same sense of humor and clique really well. So we had been hanging out I want to say for a good month before I meet her hubby. She tried to get me to come over one night to meet and have dinner and I fanned some excuse not to go. I was really nervous about meeting him. I get two reactions from straight guys they either get me and like me or hate me. There is no in between. So I really didn’t want to meet Dave. Melissa kept up and I finally caved a day later to come over. I get there and Dave is nice and quiet. I really felt awkward. Melissa and I have always been loud mean and catty with each other and I didn’t know how Dave would respond to that so I made idol chit chat. It was fun and nice. Dave made and awesome dinner I loved it. I kind of wish Dave would cook for me all the time. So during dinner we are chatting about making fun of coworkers and Dave says “I don’t really make fun of my coworkers, they are usually making fun of me.” I naturally asked why. Dave is nice, good looking and seemed like a normal guy. He then says “I’m the only non white guy at work”. Now Melissa and I look at each other and erupt in laughter. Dave meant to say that he was the only “non American” at work, Dave is from the country I love the most Canada. I think that was my first foreign county I went to when I was a kid with me dad in his 18 wheeler I remember having the most fun with him. After that slip it was so funny. Melissa then tells me that he says the best one liners. On Halloween I’m driving home from work and I get a comment on the MySpace page from Melissa telling about Dave’s latest comment. Here is what she left me “Be Prepared to laugh your ass off! So, Dave, Damien and I passed out candy tonight, while watching " The Great Pumpkin"... But that not the funny part...

A group of about 7 teenagers came to the door... And Dave was acting like the cool guy passing out candy, because he got the Big Candy bars for the Kids... When the last kid got his candy he told told Dave his costume was Micheal Myers, but his mask was in his bag... Dave replies " Oh he is Canadian, so you get extra candy!' ROTFLMAO! The Kid walked away giggling and Dave didn't get it! Well, I guess we have to excuse Dave... Since he is the only non-white guy in the neighborhood! HAHAHA!”

I laughed my ass off so hard I almost wrecked my car reading that. I respond back saying that Michael Meyers was from the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. To which when I was pumping gas 5 min later I realized that Michael Meyers was from the Halloween movies. I laughed about this every time I think about it.

Now I really like Dave. I think he is hilarious and the nicest guy in the world. Plus if Cowlitz 2 fire had more hot firefighters like Dave this town wouldn’t be such a dump.

What Do You Think?

Sometimes I care what people think to much. If you are a complete stranger I could give a shit less what you think of me or if you like.  

However if you like and all that jazz I feel pretty good. When it comes to coworkers and bosses that is a different story. If I respect you, like you, or consider you a friend I care about what you have to say. If you are  non of those then I just don't care. I get pissy and mean when you trash talk me for no apparent reason or just plain make stuff up. Case in point I told a friend and a co worker two of them that I thought someone was cute. I had never meet this person or talked to them. So they took it upon themselves to tell this person that I was madly in love with them. OK one. I'm not madly in love with them two why would these people make up a complete lie about me when they are supposed to be friends. So then it gets back to me that this person is homophobic and two wants and is looking to get me fired. I approach one of the friends who said something and she said "  

well that is what you get for say saying stuff like that". I'm sorry but I deserve to be fired for saying someone was cute. No I don't. You deserve to be fired for making up a complete lie about me and having Someone threaten my job. I would never EVER do that to a friend. The other friend I told about this was horrified and didn't want to talk  

to my friend who made the comment and the person who said was cute.   

At some point and time I'm going to snap and it won't be pretty.

SUCK MY BUTT!

This past couple of weeks has been hell. I will start with the whole dogs being poisoned. It was two of my parents dogs that got sick. Both of my parents are in Arkansas visiting family. Both dogs Ginger and Pepper somehow came across salmon, to which the became very ill. Now I instantly knew that there was something wrong. They weren't excited to see me or eat or play. I called that vet, my parents and mine and both said oh wait they will be fine. Um no they weren't both very ill. Ginger had to say at the vets for one night and Pepper was there for three days. I have an issue with my parents vet. They are in the middle of now where two I spent almost $700 in vet bills and these people treated me like shit. I would call identify myself then the dog and then my parents name. To which I heard at least four times over the phone and twice in person "well ugh". To which every time I wanted to go FUCK YOU BITCH FUCK YOU AND YOU RE ATTITUDE YOU CUNT RAG WHORE. I do not care for these people. To treat you re customers like that is beyond me. I'm sure there are a hundred other vets that would treat you 100 times better that these people. I'm serious I hate these people. Then when I Finlay get to pick Pepper up the building smelt of dirty vagina and spoiled milk and mold. I almost threw up waiting.

Half Man Half Horse

So the other day I check my myspace page and it tells me that I have a new comment. I figure it is just one of those stupid join this application posts, since that is all I seem to get now. I see the comment is from Stef or as she likes to be called STEFANI because that is how you spell this skanks name. So STEFANI (all caps by the way) has taken offense to the way I spell her name. Well you know what, STEFIE! let me tell you this. There are ten million ways to spell your name. OK so maybe not that many but oh well. Can we discuss on thing about Stefani. That is she is married to a lovely guy who ladies when I tell you the following you will be like WHAT!? I gotta see that. He has a great bubble butt ass the kind that you just want to hold onto while he is fucking you. Its nice. Oh so NICE. I'm sorry Stefani that you had to hear that, but its the truth. OK so on to funny shit. Stefani and Marla and I all went to see they gay summer hit Mamma Mia in Battle Ground. I don't normally go to Battle Ground due to the fact that they are kinda out in the middle of now where and are really not gay friendly. Every time I go out there I fell like I'm going to get bashed in the head. So we go to this movie and I'm horribly late due to the fact that I could shoot the shit with my brother and sister all night long and lose track of the time and not care. I get to the theater and find Stefani and Marla in a sea of old people. I'm serious the average age excluding Stefani, Marla, and I was 60 to 70. FUCKING OLD. It was hard to hear the movie over the oxygen tanks.
The movie was set in a gorgeous location. The issue I had was one not enough gays in this movie, two can they get a cast that can hit a fucking note to save their lives. Nobody could hit or hold a note to save their lives. It was horrible. The funny moment wasn't in the movie came from Marla. Who half way through the movie says out loud to Stefani and I, "They are sure playing allot of Abba songs." Which led to Stefani and I laughing our asses off. Then Stefani tells her that it is an musical based on all Abba songs. I love Marla. If she had a penis I would be all about her.
I have to share my favorite moment of this last week at work. This nice looking guy is wearing a tShirt that says "Half Man, Half Horse", Now I and almost the rest of everyone in existence gets that shirt and thinks its funny. Well this guy just pipes up out of no where and goes "what part of you is horse?", I laugh out loud and the guy has a weird look on his face and just says "my heart".
Earlier in the week quiet possibly the best thing to happen did, the Hoochies where back in full force. It was Melinda's birthday and we all got together for it. It was really nice.

YOU FLOOR SRUBIN OLD HAG!

Ok I have to say I wasn't sure what I was going to talk about in this entry. Tiff wanted me to do a blog about her Cancun dance which is hilarious in it self but I do have to say that it is a must see. Or pics of it. I cant possibly describe it. However it does do drinks, camera, CANCUN (ending with your arms in the air). Then I put a posting up asking who should be my next victim, and who volunteers. Lisa. I haven't talked to that bitch in forever and this old fucking hag think she gets to be a part of this. WHAT EVER.... HAHAHA Love ya Lisa and miss ya. However I did get me target for my funneling of hostilities. Its that bitch Jessica. I had Friday off this week and who do you think comes in. YEAH my boyfriend who is currently dating this whore bag of a woman. And she is all to happy to tell me about it as we are clocking in. "Guess who was in last night, Our boyfriend" You see she is keeping him from me. BITCH. Then Saturday she calls me and says "Guess who I just meet" I have no idea and I guessed something stupid. Jessica then goes "Tanya Harding" WTF That is a catch of a celebrity to have at party and meet. It works on two levels. One you meet her hang with her get to talk to her and get great stories to tell friends and family. Or Two she goes bat shit crazy and you get to talk about it to friends and family. So she says yeah I meet her and got some pics with her. I immediately say "did you get pics of her chocking you? Hitting You?" That is a pic to get with Tanya. She goes No, buy our man was there. WHAT THE FUCK PETER PAN. She what she does to me. I see how this is.

If anyone was reading craigslist Sunday night No I wasn't in Kalama. This following ad suggests that I was there:
"seeking head in Kalama right now - 49 (Kalama) by the marina, velvety smooth 6" straight shaft, soft dark blonde pubes, medium thickness, cut cock, 7 day load, swallow or watch it squirt, your choice, looking for 6:30, tahoe with dark glass, just show up and ask "is there a Dairy Queen in this town? ". I'll know why you're there.(offline after posting this ad. :) Location: Kalama"
I was not the "dairy queen" In town that night.

Are You Stupid Or Is It Just Me?

This post comes from two different things. I have been toiling on how to reference it and what it comes down to is this, I might have to switch jobs in the future and that it could possibly be a pay different of five to ten grand. His response to me was "so oh well". WHO THE FUCK SAYS THAT TO A FRIEND. I would never say that to a friend or and enemy. I was my friends to make a shit load of money. I want them to not have to stress about money and that they always have enough. I have been thinking about this persons statement allot lately and I think that Iam going to have to sit them down and say "what you said was horrible and inexcusable and I don't want to speak with you for a while". Plain and simple.
The second is that last night I was invited to a going away party. And then to the ensuing house party. I go to the house party and am watching people play rock band. OK this is the worst party game. It is any song you like someone whom is drunk in going to play the game horribly and ruin the song for you. It happened last night to me. So we are watching people play this game and Tim (not me) is playing the drum part of the game. Now Tim is a drummer and all that. He was the worst at the game he kept bitching about how the game was wrong and this that and the other and I just wanted to scream. It was horrible HORRIBLE! But he was cute as hell tho. I think for every color he got wrong he should have to take an article of clothing off.

I just saw Dallas's Nipple and Now Im Just Not Right

Ok so I was going to blog about how Jessica is mean to me and is keeping her hot baseball player man from me, but I have to tell a little back story and maybe a front story too. I was going to write a blog about Jessica on Saturday, however I went out with Tiff, Candace, and Anna we where out till forever and when I got home I just wanted to sleep when I got home. I'm such an old lady on this new shift of mine which I love. The shift not the old lady part. I get up on Sunday go down to the store to get a paper. The Sunday paper is $1.50 I get to the counter with the paper and the lady says $2.00. I was like what?! I look at the paper again to make sure the price is $1.50. After about ten seconds of being bewildered I point to the price on the paper and she goes "oh $1.50". Then as I'm leaving there was this lady on the street corner. She was an older lady in her 50's maybe early 60's a long hippy dress and a tie died top with long white hair. So I then leave town to do some ceramics with Kelsi and fam. I get home and Mom proceeds to tell me that they let some strange lady in the house and you the bathroom. I then descirbe her and my mother was like yeah that was her. I was like OMG she was on the street corner of 46th ave and Ocean Beach Hwy (a major road) yelling at the traffic and mumbling to herself. My mother then goes well you didn't tell me that. I was like why would I. I never thought that you would let that crazy ass ed bitch in the house. So Mom tells me that she was in the bathroom for quit a while. I then asked did you check the bathroom after she left. To make sure nothing was missing or she didn't you know leave something behind and then try to come back for it. The response I get is well "No", I'm then told that she asked everyone for money and a ride. So they neighbor gives her a ride about a half a mile away. To which I'm then told she smelled really bad. I was like you guys watch Law and Order, CSI, ect.. This is how most of those plots start. Plus this person is going to come back. To which I was told no she wont and if she does we will ignore her. FUCKING RIGHT.
Then they where chopping down a giant tree in our back yard and they rented a huge Boom Lift. To which since I had to work on Saturday and I was out of town Sunday I didn't get to play with it at all. It was huge I could have gone at least 50 to 70 feet in the air.
Ok so now on to Jessica. We had been buddies for a while now. When she first started I would say her name how Kathy Griffin would say her assistants name Jessica. Then when she would she would be a pain and make my life hell I told her that I was going to hit her favorite animal with my car on my way home from work. So then when I came back and we worked together again. So we where getting caught up and she tells me that she is dating this guy by ? (while writing this blog I sent a text message to a friend to make sure I can use her mans name in my blog. If I don't get an approval back he will forever be known as ?). So we are talking about ? and she tells me that he wants a gay friend and that she will introduce us. I was ok and really unsure about this prospect. So later that day I go to her myspace page and I then she her boyfriend so I clicked on that to see what he is like. His pics and his page where kind of hick/ redneck. So then I was concerned that he just wanted to beat the crap out of me. So then tell Jessica this and she laughs and says no he doesn't want to kick my ass. So then I was Ok I will meet him maybe we can do a baseball game. We all have that in common and to me that would be a good common ground. Then he comes in and I get to meet ? and he is super nice and I want to totally hang and kick it with him. So then I ask Jessica where he has been. He would come in on her Fridays and visit. He hasn't been around in a while so I asked her why she was hiding him from me. Was she afraid I was going to steal him away. She then says No he has been busy lately. RIGHT SURE HE IS, I WILL HIT A HORSE WITH MY CAR TO MAKE IT EVEN.
So now to why the blog is titled like it is. I go to Stefs page to send her a message saying that she has to name my blog. She of course wasn't online any more so I'm watching her photo slide show and what pops up a pic of her hubby and his nipple. I'm just not right now. Not right at all.

HUNK OF MAN

Today I had two tasks. One get suits altered, TWO get new tires. I drive down and the alterations place is closed. ASSHOLES FUCK YOU FOR TAKING A DAY OFF WORK. Then I had to go to the tire store and get new tired. Thank you stimulus check. I get into the place and walk in and there was the guy that I have literally had a giant crush on for years. He was the guy that I wanted when I was 20 and was too afraid to come out of the closet. We where good buddies back then. Then we both got fired from the same employer and I moved away so I lost contact. I have always jokingly referred to him and my husband. He is probably the only person that I would marry if I had to. Well except Sheila. I have always had this thought that one day she is going to get prego and I will just marry her so she doesn't have to raise the kid alone and plus, All the crap that I give Sheila I do love her dearly and I love her family a ton to. But back the story. He was there. I get a cute tire guy to help me he gets the info and we are talking and the hunk walks up. I asked for his opinion about the tires and he told me his opinion. I know allot of stuff. I can rebuild and car engine and what not. Tires Iam out of the loop and just want to be told the option. The tire guy tells me that it will be about 45 min. Hunk was going to head home and just come back to get his car. I was just going to shop at Freddies. Hunk and I just started talking and we hung out for a good hour bullshitting. It was a blast. I was relaxed and just didn't seem to care that I was in my scrubby clothes. It was a fun and good day. Even when the smelly lady sat down next to him and we had to go somewhere else to escape the smell. It was all fun and I had a blast.

Learn To Drive Assholes

So Yesterday I needed to run to Tacoma to get a couple new suits and what not. Joe came with me to keep me company and also to make me laugh my ass off. The trip up was uneventful except for me driving 60 mph which grated on Joe. It made me giggle and I was just like eh. But the trip back I laughed my ass off. We where looking for a place to eat and Joe with his window rolled down was talking to any guy in the cars next to us. His phrase was "You know you want me to suck your cock!" I just died. Then this little tid bit was just out there. He saw a half way decent guy and he just said "mmm I want to taste your juice". I was WTF that is the grossest thing ever. To which we are heading home traffic was a giant snarl because nobody can drive anymore. It was bumper to bumper both directions for 15 miles. But it traffic he was just like "mmm I bet his juice tastes good". I was just vile and was making me queezy.

Despratly Fucking Angry

I would like to thank my favorite show DNR (their picture from pride 06)on Sirius Satellite Radio for the name of my latest blog. Why the fuck is it that I cant just have friends I have to deal with this bull shit of are you sleeping with them or not. I get that the straight community thinks that all gays have sex with each other all the time. Because that is what they want to be doing. It really pisses me off when I have to hear this same bullshit from two friends who fucking know better. So just to clear it up for the entire world. I don't just have random sex with people or your man. GET IT GOT IT! It has gotten to the point where my friend cant even tell their spouse that they are having drinks with me because they think we are sleeping together. The other day at work I asked a couple co workers if they would like to go to a strip club, Miss B. , and Miss F. ,Miss J. told me that they had no problem with their men going with me to a strip club because no shady stuff was going to go down. That they knew me and trusted me. They also knew that their men would come home to them and not do blow off a hookers ass and bang strange bitches all night.

Then Sunday (fathers day) was Portland Pride. OK the slogan for this year was "pride bring it". OK thanks for stealing some cheesy bullshit from a cheer leading movie. Number two the lady and I use that term LOOSELY spoke horrible English. I got so bad that me and my friends stopped watching the parade and just started making fun of her. As I like to call it SPANGLISH. Then once again can we talk about how horrible the vender's booths areas are. You could barley walk and you when you saw a booth you liked there was no way to stop and look. The crowd behind you just kept pushing. The people who run the locale pride need to pull their heads out of their ass and change how they do it. It should be fun! The year that DNR hosted I laughed my ass off. It was great. They need to come back and emcee again.

TMI Round DUEX

Ok I saw this and had to do a post about it. I am trying to be more creative and soooo freaking lazy. I'm stupmed as to what to put up here sometimes with out being to personal on my friends part. I could care less about my privacy. I will tell you bitches anything you want to know.

1. What lines have you used to let someone down gently.
"I'm sure your nice and all but I don't sleep with women". I have had to use that one a couple times. Go figure.
2. If I gave you $10K to waste, what would you buy.
BOTOX!
3. If I gave you $10K, but you had to spend it all on someone else, what would you buy.
BOTOX! Whats good for the goose is good for his gander.
4. If your partner brought a double dildo to bed, you'd be ____________?
Um ok we can give it a try. Then a phone call will be placed to get a hoochie party dinner so I can tell my peeps. Who will/ would laugh thier asses off.
5. What sounds to you make during sex.
Good sounds. WTF question is that. I make the same sounds as everyone else.

What An Assy Day!

Today was horrible. I worked at the cafe today at the annex location. I have kinda wanted to work over there for a while due to the fact that it is great people watching and all the stories everyone tells me. I show up today and I have no sink. Joe tells me it has been moved. I find it behind all the refrigeration units. Then I go to start the drip coffee and do an espresso. Nothing works at all NOTHING! I call Joe and chat with him. I then get frustrated because I look like a piece of shit in front of my customers because I cant figure out what is going on. Then Joe says to me "why are you copping and attitude with me" I explained to him I wasn't but it instantly pissed me off. So I discover while on the phone with Joe still that I have no water. Who is standing in line at this time. That's right the health department lady. Who starts yelling and me and I tell Joe I have the health inspector in front of me. He causally says "so". I get off the phone with him. I'm now fully pissed off and then health lady is yelling at me now. She starts yelling about this that and the other. Everything she can find wrong she is yelling at me about. Finally I was "I work here one day a week I don't know what is going on." She then calms down and started talking to me like a human being. So we find the issue of why no coffee. The water is off. I turn it off then three minutes later find out why the water was off. There was a hole in the water line. I call Joe back and tell him what the health lady said and then the fact that there is a hole in the water line. I'm frustrated by this time. I have had two people right off the bat either treating me like shit or just shitting on me. So for the next 30 plus minutes I have to tell dozens of people no coffee. Which I get attitude from people on. I now have a horrible head ache and want to punch people in the face and not speak to any one. Finlay I am back up and running and I now have to play catch up which I did for the next two hours. Then I get a little break and calm down. I then look outside to see this gorgeous view (picture above) and just want to go home now. Then more fun I start running out of stuff and I get more attitude.

Then two things happen One was this guy who orders a coffee I go to make it and then he starts talking to himself. I think he is talking on a blue tooth. Nope talking loudly to himself. Then tells me he is a vet and shows me proof. What proof. A old navy flag t shirt. It was awesome. The next is proof that god loves me very much. He gave me a tranny in a wheel chair. Thank you. That mad my day better and the view out the window from the pit of dispare was all that better.

TMI Tuesday Questions.

TMI Tuesday is a blog that I regularly visit in hopes of stirring some thought provoking ideas. I found one that I wanted to post and answer the questions of. So here goes.

Your boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you with your best friend, who are you (more) mad at?
I would have to say that I would be more upset with my best friend. They obviously would have known me longer and my feelings on this. SHEILA!

Is there something someone could say to you that would cross a boundary of not being able to
take back or forgive them?
Oh yeah. Several people in my life have said stuff that has crossed the line that I no longer speak to because it has hurt or offended me that much.
What non-sexual body part do you find the sexiest?
This has to be a weird question but I have to say for me it is someones hands. I know its weird isn't it.
Would you ever consider cosmetic surgery to have the perfect body?
Yes I have I want to have some work done on my face to get ride of some of my acne scars and to have some botox to get ride of the lines in between my eyes.
Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?
UM DUH.
Bonus (as in optional): If you were going to have a one night stand, who would you rather it be with- an ex or someone totally random you just met.
I would go with a stranger. I know the ex and the sex. I want the excitement of the stranger. Its just HOT!

I HATE MY JOB!

So my life of late has been beyond hectic. Lets jump back a couple weeks ago when I had a co worker/ supervisor say out loud with me in the break room "Aids was invented by the government to kill blacks, gays, ivy drug users, and other people who commit sinful acts." I was pissed off to no extent. I talk to my manager and give him a statement on what happened. Then I have another supervisor ask/ say " you look pissed off why?" I tell him what happened and his response was "well its not like you respect this guy anyway." I was floored again then I thought that I was just being crazy for being upset and then I talked to one of my friends that they had to tell me that I wasn't crazy. So two weeks goes by and I hear nothing from management that they are taking care of the problem. All I wanted was the guy to be talked to that was it.
Then last week I was dealing and I had a customer look at me and say with my floor supervisor standing right there "I bet your a good dick sucker aren't you." I was pissed and my floor goes hey guys calm down. No other member of management said a word to this guy. My pit manager comes down about 45 min later and asks me if I'm OK. I was like I'm fine and I didn't want to talk about it. Then he tells me that I'm a "flamboyant dealer." That doesn't help my mood and now I'm just seeing red.
OK I know I work in a casino and sometimes OK most of the time people are really cranky. I know how to handle the problem customers. I'm comfortable with people swearing at me and all that. This customer to me went over the line and personally attacked me I felt that was to much and then when my bosses who do nothing about it then tell me I'm a flamboyant dealer, it drives me nuts.

I HATE PEOPLE

I want to hit people hard! I know that sounds mean but honestly after this last week I just want to scream. I absolutely hated work this week. One of my coworkers who is a low level boss told me that I "have an attitude problem", all because I didn't move fast enough for his taste. So then I had to endure two days of him glaring at me. I just have to say he makes me hate my job even more. I just hate it there. I tell one of my coworkers what is going on who knows this pos. They tell me that hes just pissed because we don't drink with him anymore. WTF!
Then the coffee shop was the day of let me order something then as I'm making it or it done they would say that's not what I wanted. Then my response is but you ordered it right. Customer number one:
" 16 oz vanilla double latte"
"OK" (as I'm making it)
"I wanted a quad that's what I meant as double"
"OK" (In my head I just want to go get the fuck off your phone and learn how to order right ass bag)
OK people simple math double equals two, quad equals four.
Shit bag number two: (also on a cell phone)
"I would like a 16 oz vanilla and orange Italian soda"
As I am making it and almost done and STILL on the phone "Light Ice" She sees that it is half done and then says "Oh never mind" She now gets off the phone and her drink is done and I hand it to her "what about the whip cream?"
"I'm sorry you didn't ask for whip cream"
"Well you didn't ask me"
"I'm sorry you where on the phone and next time you need to tell me what you want"
So I put the fucking whip cream on it for her. She then says "Well when I come in next time you know how I like it"
WHAT EAT IT I WONT REMEMBER YOUR ORDER. I DON'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME HALF THE TIME.

The slapping will begin ASAP!

Ok I have some serious issues that we all know about. But howere here is some new ones.

• So my birthday was a couple weeks ago and Im out to dinner with my parents, Joe, Davaki, Bonnie, Danny, and Lori. So Danny askes me where Sheila is at. I said that I didn't know. So yes you guessed it Sheila forgot my bday and didn't call me. I was like how rude. So that kinda tweeked me out that one of my best friends didnt call me on my birthday.
• Next is that people who talk shit about me at work within ear shot of ME! Who the fuck does that. Ok so this person lets call him "Stupid Dumb Douchebag" (SDD for short). "SDD" tells another dealer who is on the table next to me that Iam one of the shitious floors/ dealers that we have. Then he lists off others who he feels are equaly as bad. I was like what you mother fucker. I wanted to look at him in the middle of the pit and go "SDD" if you have a problem with me say it to my face. I was adult about it and just kept my mouth shut and then complained to one of my managers. So then "SDD" a couple days later folows me for three hours and hawks all of my games even dead ones to make sure that Iam doing everything right. I was like WHAT THE FUCK. So Im pissed off again and not in a mood to talk to any customers and barley make and fucking money nice one "SDD".
• I will never purchase anything from DELL computers again. I was late making my payment this month, once I realized this I promptly paided it electonicly. So the next day I get a call from DELL that they want me to make a payment. I pick up the phone and he asks me three times if I am me. I was like yes to all three times. Then he says that I missed my payment. I said that I realized that and I paid it electronicly the other day. He tells me that Its nice that I paid but I have to pay him. I was like NO I made my payment and am not going to make the same payment twice. He then tells me that if I dont pay him they will continue to call me till I pay him. I was like WHAT. NO IM NOT PAYING I HAVE ALREADY PAID. Then hung up on his ass. FUCK DELL EAT IT DOUCHEBAGS.
• Im done with "striaght" guys who want gay sex.
• So my brother Bo walks into my room the other day and says can we borrow you "fruitton" (thats how he pronounces it) when they move into thier own place. I was I dont know let me think about it. I dont want to because they will ruin it and then it have spent a nice chunk of money on it to have it ruined. I think I will search craigslist to find them a couch. I CANT WAIT FOR THEM TO MOVE OUT. Im a little under a week away.... YEAH.